Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my Strength and my Redeemer.

Sunday, February 13, 2011



Everywhere you go in Christian circles it seems there is advice to Singles on finding a spouse. From books, to articles, to sermons etc. etc.

One site that speaks to Singles on several topics including this one is http://www.boundless.org/

If you are over 30 you have probably heard every piece of advice out there including:

Go where other Christian Singles are

Move to the City

Lose weight

Participate in as many Co-Ed functions as you can

Join an Online Dating service

Don’t join an online dating service…..(cause that is not trusting God)

For women, be as domesticated as you can

Get a degree

Don’t get a degree that might be higher than your future husband’s

Buy a house

Don’t buy a house

Be Independent

Don’t be Independent ( I even read one article that suggested women live with a family as to appear not to Independent)

Go out with almost anyone at least once (that was from a book)

Don’t go out with someone you already know you would never marry for differing standard reasons

The list goes on and on as all our married friends assist in our journeys.

Most of the things listed above are not bad things at all. However, there is an element that I think is passed up in all this ‘advice’. The element of God’s will for our lives today, in this moment. If you have a decision to make about how you spend your time or money, you should ask what God would have you do.

One friend of mine felt led to move to a small town on the East Coast to teach at a Christian School. Several Christian mentors advised her not to, stating she would ‘never’ find someone there. She went anyway and met her Spouse when his Youth Group was visiting the area. Had she met a spouse or not, God would have rewarded her for doing his will.

There was a time in my life a few years ago that I was in a women’s only small group at Cedar Springs Presbyterian. During that time I probably could only list to you maybe 2 Christian guys I even knew. Several people told me I needed to be in more Co-Ed groups at that time. However, that was one of the most wonderful times in my life. I felt like I was in God’s will because this group was where he led me to be that time in my life. My time was supposed to be spent there.

One of my friends, felt like God was telling her to join an online Dating Service, she did. And that is where she met her wonderful husband. Is everyone suppose to join one….probably not.

We have different seasons in our lives where God is calling us to do different things, spend our time in ways different than 5 years ago.

I would challenge you that when you hear advice of any kind that you test it with God’s Word to see if it aligns. Then ask God what his will for you at this particular time in your life is.

If he tells you to move, than move. Stay, than stay. Wait, than wait.

Don’t let others pressure you just because they can’t see what God is doing in your life.

If you decide that meeting more people of the opposite sex is God’s will than do so. I would like to suggest a website that a couple I know started for those Christians serious about looking for a mate. This site has a lot of great articles about various things Single people in the Church face, and opportunities to discuss those topics. Along with meeting other Christians around the world, and yes possibly a mate. http://marrywell.org/

So as to the ? IS THERE A FORMULA FOR FINDING A MATE? Well, from a Single Girl’s opinion…YES.

Just as there is a formula for finding the right career, house, mentor, small group etc etc etc:

It is found in Matthew 6:33
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Are you seeking his will first in how you spend your time?

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